I hope I live long enough to see the day when an individual (or a company) can develop an automatic hand dryer that actually works and doesn’t sound like you’re drying your hands under a revved up 747 airliner.

I absolutely cringe when I walk into a bathroom in a restaurant, a gym, a pub, or any place and see an automatic hand dryer because they’re so ineffective. After you’re done your business, you wash your hands, turn to the hand dryer and you have to either stick your hands under them or in between them. When they kick in, LOOK OUT! You know, I have been to the Moose Jaw air show when the U.S. Thunderbirds performed and I’m pretty sure those jets were quieter while screaming over top the crowd than most of today’s automatic hand dryers.

After you stick your hands underneath, and its screaming motor starts, you’re treated to moderately warm, but mostly cool air to dry your paws. You have to rub them back and forth, up and down, or side to side for the air to dry them. And just when you start to see some success, the motor kicks out and you have to start all over again. GRRRR!

It makes a person want to reach for the toilet paper and use it to dry the hands, but we seldom do that, instead choosing to hope for the best from the F-18 hand dryer and dry the remaining dampness on our shirts and pants. To all those new businesses starting up, please, PLEASE, don’t install an automatic hand dryer!