There are three things I absolutely despise in this world. Rude people, spiders, and heights. This past Sunday I had to deal with one of those three things. Heights. I’ve noticed I have this branch that was extending over my roof and fearing that it may be rubbing the shingles, I decided I should get up there and trim that branch back to prevent any damage. Therein lies the problem. Getting up there.
I borrowed a ladder from a co-worker and as I started climbing I could feel the sweat pouring and the knees knocking. I stood on the ladder for about 10 minutes trying to figure out if I was ever going to get up on the roof or just stand there and look at it. A few days earlier a buddy asked if I needed someone to old the ladder and I declined saying “Oh, I’ll be fine!” Nope, I wasn’t. I ended up getting down, fired up my lawn mower and cut the back yard to calm the nerves. Once that was done I realized I had to face facts and just get up on the roof.
Luckily my neighbour was handy and he held the ladder for me to get up. Once I got up on the roof I was more stiff than the actual tree was. I got the tree branch cut away and the shingles were a-ok. Since I was up there I decided I wasn’t going to do this again until next year so I cleaned out the eves, which is one of the most disgusting things ever!
Getting down was another chore. I had a long sleeve shirt with a jacket on that got wrapped up around the top of the ladder legs. As I was attempting to descend down the ladder I managed to get my shirt caught on one of the ladder legs and my jacket was wrapped up around leg. I was stuck! Now what? The wind wasn’t helping matters either. Finally after much cursing, sweating, and a near nervous break down I broke free and was able to descend back to Earth.
As Monday rolled around I was so stiff and sore thanks to my INCREDIBLY awkward positions on the roof courtesy of my fear of falling off. I’m sure anyone walking by had a good laugh at me as I was cleaning out my eaves and probably asked themselves “what is up with the way that guy is sitting on the roof over there?” Don’t worry, I’m always that tense and awkward on roof tops. After this ordeal I learned I will never be able to fill in for Santa Claus one year.
